The way to stop feeling like an impostor is by never thinking of yourself as one. Today I give my audiences three simple and non-negotiable strategies on how they can have more confidence in themselves, so that when we hear them speak or see their work it will be much clearer who the real person inside those words are.
The only way to rid oneself from thoughts about being a fraud is not thinking at all–of course there’s no guarantee you won’t encounter someone else just like you doing something great but the best thing for your mental health would still be living up to what others think of us instead of constantly striving against our own image. The speaker shares with his audience today some tips he has found which seem simple enough.
1. Shame is what stops most people from admitting to their fraudulent feelings. Knowing there’s a name for these feelings and that you are not alone can be tremendously freeing, so break the silence today!
From time to time, we all feel stupid. Separate your feelings from the facts and you’ll find that it’s not always true that just because you may be feeling like an idiot, doesn’t mean you are one .
2. The idea that success is exclusively for white males can be disconcerting, especially when you are the only or one of a few people in any given meeting who look and sound different. However, if your confidence has taken a hit due to an unfortunate situation such as being the first woman at work- even so far as seeming like you don’t fit in sometimes- recognize these feelings and tell yourself it’s natural to feel this way from time to time!
Recognize when you should feel fraudulent. A sense of belonging fosters confidence; therefore, if there is no one else with similar characteristics occupying space around you then it’s not unreasonable for certain feelings about fitting into society may arise .
3. It’s important to balance the pursuit of excellence with forgiveness. Sometimes, mistakes are inevitable and it’s okay if you don’t dedicate all your time and energy on a task that doesn’t matter so much in the grand scheme of things. For example, when writing an essay for school or doing homework is due tomorrow morning but you want to spend some time playing video games instead because they’re more fun than what should be done- we get it! That being said, make sure perfectionism does not become obsessive about routine tasks like answering emails which could lead down a path where one has no joy left while working through their day job.
4. Accentuate the positive: The good news is being a perfectionist means you care deeply.
5. It is said that the only thing separating winners from losers are their thoughts. You can’t be a winner unless you think like one, and before your next big event picture yourself succeeding instead of failing. It will help give you more confidence to perform well in front of others.